Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
