piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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