You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
