just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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