How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Randomize