But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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