Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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