so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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