Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
