I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize