ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
