so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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