Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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