I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
