i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
