i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
