lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
