hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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