I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
