hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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