I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
