would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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