Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
