I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Randomize