So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
