I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
