I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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