i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
