Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
