Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
