yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
