is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
ttyl tear gas
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Randomize
