I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
