I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
