i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
