my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
