A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I just want to make out with him forever
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize