I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
