Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
