Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize