he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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