She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
