her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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