so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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