i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
