We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
