i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
