imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
