I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
