her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
