Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(973): View more from New Jersey

she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.

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(540): View more from Virginia

Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.

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(515): View more from Iowa

Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world

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(937): View more from Ohio

I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar

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(248): View more from Michigan

Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine

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(323): View more from California

Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah

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(909): View more from California

You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.

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(260): View more from Indiana

Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.

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