I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
