I am puke
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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