Your mouth is God's brothel.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
