Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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