Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
