my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
