The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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