when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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