I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
