try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
