I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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