Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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