the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
