I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
