hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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