Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
