Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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