You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
