Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
