He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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