I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
