her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
