Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize